Ted Nugent Teaching His Knees To Rock

He’s managed to successfully fight off cat scratch fever for decades, but not even the mighty Ted Nugent is completely invulnerable — in fact, ol’ Uncle Ted recently had to have his knees replaced.

Nugent shared the news of his medical woes via Facebook, where he reached out to fans with a post explaining his recent lack of activity on the site by saying, “Greetings my fellow Nuge facebookers. Sorry I haven’t been on much lately but the double knee replacement surgery knocked me on my ass royal!”

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But not to worry, Nugent nation — Ted promises he’ll be wangin’ and dangin’ again in no time. “I should be up and dancing like a full bluntal Nugity Motown guitar animal real soon,” he assured fans. “For now it’s all about pain management and retraining my new knees to ROCK!! Thanx as always for your support & goodwill here, and by all means, don’t scare away the mindless soulless subhuman haters cuz outlandish braindead humor has a powerful curing effect. Godspeed productive Americans, damn the rest of em. Happy almost turkey season! May the bluegill slabs & thunderchickens infest your grills ASAP!”

Whatever Nugent’s doing in terms of physical therapy, those new knees will need to be rockin’ by summer, when he’s due to play the Sweden Rock Festival in June and MountainFest in West Virginia the following month.